Date: April 23, 1985
ASTRAL TIME TRAVEL LOG# 13506021:
Hey y'all, it's Darren. I'm back in my rookie year this time and we're in Montreal to play the Expos. This was the day I made my second major league start ahead of that Mexican prick Ozzie Vigil. I traveled here because Steve Jeltz was talking shit that Virgil deserved the starting job because he "handled the staff better." So I'm going back in time to punch Jeltz in the cock...but also to pick up one of those vapid, pretentious Canadian cunts, slip her a roofie, and give her a French Baptism. People from Quebec just piss me off and deserve the full extent of brutality from my 15 inch penis. However it's important that I do not disturb the cosmic forces that bind the universe so I'll have to make sure that I still go 1-5 in the game.
